My 2003 - Not So Much One Word But One Sound Sums This Up So Far... ARRRGHHHH!!!

A personal rant of sorts by y'r humble webmaster, Matthew James Didier

Okay, I have to bore you to start this off, but here goes... Try not to snooze too much reading this.

I can't say I've always had a burning love of history. I can actually pinpoint when the Gods decided to give me the itch and, oddly enough, it happened when I was very young.

Many moons ago (in the late 1970's) when I was a wee slip of a lad, I was far more concerned with Darryl Sittler, Borje Salming, Tiger Williams and my personal hero, Wayne Thomas (yup, the Toronto Maple Leafs) and catching either episiodes of "CHiPs", "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" or "Chopper One" than pretty much anything else... literally... in the world. My young life was unencumbered with the adult things and history, especially, was something that was thrust upon me by school or by my family.

"You know, we're from good UEL stock!" I'd hear constantly, but to me, all that meant is we'd escaped being part of the (then to me) glorious nation that had recently so loudly celebrated it's bicentennial to which, as a Saturday morning cartoon addict, I couldn't avoid. I felt as if my heritage was a group of folks who ran from a fight... a good fight too... and we were on the "losing side".

Then, in an instant, my late father was forced to start working in Ottawa. Believe it or not, the man tried to live in Toronto and "commute" to Ottawa. Basically, my dad was around weekends.

Well, one Summer week, my mother decided that I needed a vacation and to visit dad seemed like a natural.

My mother, who was proud of her roots and interested in history and heritage, refused to simply hop on the 401 and do the major highway thing. No, we took Highway 2... pretty much all the way there... and stopped at every historic home, fort and all on the way.

Of course, Henry in Kingston astonished me with it's size but it was Prescott and Fort Wellington that would lead me down a path of historic and heritage exploration that survives to this day.

We arrived there late. Close to closing and were literally the only two people in the fort aside from a young man... long hair and bearded... who took me, put me in a tunic, handed me a shako and spent about an hour really explaining life as a soldier... For the first time, I felt as if I was being "taught" rather than being lectured and, best of all, felt as if I was "living" the part. I sat and listened intently to his tales and answers... in short, he spoke to me and as a kid, that's important.

I left Wellington intent on learning, reading, gleaning and trying to figure out a way to literally be involved with history. I went from wanting to be a great hockey hero to wanting to be either a soldier or a teacher.

Fast forward several years...

From that point on, my scholastic career was less than stellar. In fact, I found the teachers that I wanted to be like to be... well... a little less than wonderful. I would honestly say that, with maybe two exceptions, all the teachers I was stuck with as a kid convinced me that teaching could not possibly be for me. In fact, if not for English (which I could bluff my way through) and history, which I was a smart @$$ thanks to my historical twisting as a kid, I really bombed Junior High and High School in all other aspects... In fact, if not for taking exams and tests in my twenties, I'd be a complete drop-out... well, it would be more appropriate to say I was a "High School Kick-Out"! (For the record, I did, as an adult, have attained a college certificate in Marketing and Management and my High School Equivalency... but that was obtained the hard way! Going back to school as a twenty something and, I did make a half-hearted attempt to go to university, but never completed due to financial issues.)

My military attempts were also laughable... I was deemed to "obese" in Cadets to advance too far and, had it not been for my CIL rifle training, I probably would have left the military behind and never looked back.

I really do blame myself for a lot of this, but mostly because I let the people in school and in the military who told me "You won't amount to JACK!" get to me. As a teen, I really figured my life was pretty much going to automatically be a disaster. It very well could have if my career hadn't found me and for the past thirteen years of my thirty-something life, I have been a computer technician. A darned good one too!

"My career found me"? Yup. I couldn't STAND computers or the people that worked on them in school. Not to mention that the myth of "To use computers, you have to be an excellent mathematician" was still in full rage in the working and scholastic circles which was not true... While working my way through life and such, I was stuck as a security guard for IBM and lo and behold, I learned computers... the hard way. I was thrust into them. Yup, my career found me.

Alright... Now that I've laid the ground work, on to the meat of this article...

In 1997, I started a little group... You see, although the military and teachers had not been kind to me, I had always had yet another sort-of passion for things... well... ghostly.

Okay, I know... "What! Are you saying you see dead people!?!"

No.

Let's just say that during those formative "bottoming out" high school-ish years, I experienced some stuff I couldn't explain so I started to study... and read... and read... and read... okay... you get the idea.

Well, with the wonderful World Wide Web and my "skills"(?) in web design, I started the first online group about ghosts and hauntings in Canada! Best part, I found a venue for my love of history! I had been going to every fort and historic home that I could since becoming an "adult" (Egads! Am I one of THOSE?!?) so, in a strange way, I found an interest (ghosts) that meshed with my love (history) and allowed me to learn in a fun way (lately, I've been working with accredited scientists and historians in haunted things??? Cool!)

I found myself back in things "historic" and in a way, melting two loves into one!

So, in doing this, I met a lot of folks and was able to actually "rent" Fort York in Toronto for a night in October 1999 for the "Anniversary" of my ghostly efforts. For this, I had a new friend who runs the great ghosts walks at Fort George, Kyle Upton's father, Robin, make me a shako, a Glengarry's uniform (one of my distant relatives name Fraser was a "Glen") and did the event in full kit!

Everyone asked, "Are you a re-enactor?"

So, back then... "Hmmm... Am I re-enactor?" I thought... I'd never been to a re-enactment but I knew what they were about... I needed more "info"!

So, for two years, I was a spectator and a listener. I waited and watched and tried to learn.

Honestly, "off the record" for only people who are reading this article... the re-enactments impressed me and seemed like fun, but the people that I did speak to... well... they weren't. I won't name names, but some people were downright rude and truly acted as if they'd rather have a case of rope-burn then talk to an interested guy. It all seemed vaguely familiar...

I had some very good experiences and correspondence with some folks, but I think they got tired of me trying to get information and seemed to give up on me. The others seemed to make excuses in advance of why I would not be welcome or not be able to participate.

Long and the short of it, my experiences were... well... awful.

Then we got "lucky". It was The Battle of Georgian Bay in 2001 and my older sister, Jennifer, her kids and I were wandering around the encampment. The battle re-enactment had, as usual, impressed me and afterwards, my sister and I wandered the encampment. My sister started talking to one re-enactor from the states who was extremely nice and personable… She gave Jennifer the "low down" on encamping and re-enacting and now, Jennifer had the bug I had.

Walking away after parting with this woman, I started giving my sister the same horse-poop I'd been told about why doing it would be impossible and useless, but unlike me, she'd have no part of the negativity.

"But they won't except you unless you have a thoroughly accurate uniform and clothes which costs thousands of dollars!" I entreated...

"They are very selective about who gets to join! You have to commit completely all of your time! They're only interested in older folks! You have to..." (you get the idea.)

Oh, the "older folks"? I heard this a couple of times from people. Although, as of 2003, I'm thirty-six years old and when I'm clean shaven, I can and have unfortunately passed for MUCH younger... When I shave, I get "carded" for cigarettes in Ontario! I have a feeling that the gents I spoke to that said this figured I was a lot younger... at least, I hope so...

Then, like a bolt of lightning, while wandering, Jennifer wandered into Linda's Early Fashions tent and again, struck up some conversations.

In the end, it was Jennifer that told me "You know, you COULD do this and so could I!"

Well, the seed was sewn and I wanted to help and be involved. I started re-asking questions of the friends I had who either were involved in the past or present about re-enactment. Luckily, I had the ear of Robin Upton (of Coghlin and Upton) and Paul Fortier (of Jessup Food and Heritage) and picked their brains... and collected gear when and where I could.

Another thing helped gel this too... There I am, collecting gear and trying to accumulate stuff when I got together with my fiancée, Sue.

Sue was interested in history... she was something of a good amateur genealogist. Making life a little easier, Sue was also a researcher into things paranormal... a UFOlogist, but none the less, interested in things ghostly too.

By proxy, Sue ended up spending most of our time together so far together heading to forts, but for her, much like me at Wellington and later at Georgian Bay, she and I went to Fort Erie in 2002.

After that, she was hooked. Sue, almost more than I and with great admiration for a few friends she'd met via "Hobby A" as we now refer to our paranormal studies... mostly ghostly, obviously... was chomping at the bit to get involved.

"That is for Sue!" she would say, often, when watching the lines move, the charges and all. Sue, more than me almost, wanted to be "in the field".

(Sue for the record, is three months older than I... So please, understand that the "This is for Sue!" comment is more of a tongue in cheek, comedic statement that is used for a coverall of things that she enjoys or likes.)

Now, over the winter of 2002-2003, Sue started collecting her kit. (For the record, Sue's dream is to one day team up with Mark from Fort George and try to get a light dragoon unit going... but the line also appealed to her very much!)

Our combined love of early nineteenth century militaria even led Sue and I to order quite a bit of kit from both Robin Upton and Linda's Early Fashions and we both took to wearing our great coats as regular "wear" during the winter.

Here's where The Norfolk Heritage Regiment comes in...

If, in the time to come, you wonder who got y'r humble webmaster in this regiment, blame Captain Hanna's daughter!

In a chance meeting on a subway in very early 2003, Sue met Amanda. After a brief conversation and a little "It's a small, small, small world" type conversation on that subway train, Sue came home to me and said "I know how we can get involved!"

During this time, Sue had now come into her own within historical knowledge... You can blame the late Austin Seton Thompson for this as she started devouring any book she could find on early Toronto/Upper Canada history she could as his book on Spadina really set her going!

So, with Sue's new found(?) passion for history and my own dreams of being that fellow I remember so well from my youth at Fort Wellington... mixed well with visiting forts more often than is probably healthy doing "Hobby A"... our course seemed set and, on finally meeting Capt. Hanna at Black Creek Pioneer Village, the stage was set!

OKAY, NOW TO THE POINT OF THIS!

So, we had our information, I had the time (as I had been recently laid off from my previous job after six years of solid work) and Sue and I were gung ho! We honestly couldn't wait!

You see, it all made sense... My financial situation was reasonably secure because of one REALLY happy package of severance and bonuses... heck, my old company offered me a choice position in their new facilities in Halifax and I turned it down in the delusion that I'd take a couple of months off, enjoy "Hobby B" (what Sue and I call our new found re-enacting hobby) and we could finally do all that we now wanted to do.

Y'know, when things seem to look so simple, it's a sign that, to paraphrase Black Adder, fortune was about to vomit on our heads... and it did.

After juggling family commitments, a lack of a vehicle and numerous other things that seemed hell-bent to intervene in "Hobby B", we have made it to, as a couple, exactly zero events. Oh sure, we've paid the dues, have most of our kit, but none the less, could not do anything as a couple since the beginning. Aside from this, for the last four months, I've been battling a debilitating ailment with my kidneys and gall bladder that, thanks to SARS backing up all surgeries and hospital procedures in Toronto, I won't be able to have even thoroughly examined until the twentieth of this month! This ailment, for lack of a better term, has me completely laid up more often than not and, if not for a handful of pills, I wouldn't even have been able to attend Fort George this year... albeit without Sue.

Also, because of not being able to take advantage of possible contracts and other positions during the summer while ill, my financial position is borderline... at best.

Even this past weekend... With two other new Norfolkers, we had spent about a week preparing to go and literally, bits of my body on Thursday night decided that now was not the time. It's a shame that it hadn't conferred with the rest of me... To have to decide that indeed, no, I couldn't come out to Fort Erie AGONIZED me!

I know, this is an "excuse" article but... not really. There is a "secondary" point.

I started the website for the Norfolkers because I found out something over these last couple of years... I am not alone in feeling that I was being left out by re-enactors. Many people WANT to be involved, but like me, they rarely can find the information that's needed and when they have questions, they usually go unanswered.

Hmmm... reminds me not only of myself as a FUTURE re-enactor (luckily, by Backus Mill, I'll be through the medical issues, I'm sure!) but as a kid... before Fort Wellington and not-too-long after.

So, here I sit... in a bit of discomfort... surrounded by my kit which is displayed on the walls of my home... waiting... impatiently.

The point? Oh yeah...

As a reasonably well read amateur scientist, researcher and dare I say, historian, that oft referred to fellow from Fort Wellington is always not too far from my mind. I've made it a matter of pride that when someone approaches me for help or information on my three main forced-savant topics, computers, history and ghosts, I endeavour to respond in some way as quickly and as personally as possible. In fact, my rule of thumb is no e-mail must linger for more than forty-eight hours. Most of my mail is answered within twenty-four hours.

I try, with some success I think, to answer with the best of my knowledge and to the best of my ability. As far as computers go, I was once called, in a local magazine, one of Toronto's top twenty technicians.

As a "ghost person", (I hesitate with the word "expert" as the topic is the "unknown" and how the HECK can one be an expert in something that is unknown???) I have received kudos from everyone from well known psychics to professors at Harvard, University of Michigan, University of Toronto and a host of other Canadian and U.S. colleges and universities... not too mention the host of people that just e-mail me and, of course, I'm now even a regular on CFRB radio on a new show called Mind/Shift (shameless plug) so, I must be doing something right... even if it doesn't translate into whacks of cash!

So far, every "Norfolker" and many of the other re-enactors I've met have been nice, forthcoming with information and genuinely great people. I have waxed poetic since Fort George about the large family and the great people that seem to be involved with this "hobby".

To address one thing I've gleaned, I understand that, as a large family, you must be selective about who is around in close proximity and, being honest to those that are considering joining is essential, but to those first few people I attempted to talk to and contact, why kill someone's dream? Why keep someone from learning?

I've often said in "Hobby A", what harm can extending a hand, saying "Hi!" and answering or asking questions do?

I'm pleased to say that in all likelihood, I will not only be back to top form (health wise) myself at Backus Mill and there to drill, learn and enjoy with bells on, but I'll be in the company of Sue, my sister (who's signing up that day) and two friends who are already involved.

It's sad for me to look at my rifle, untouched by black powder, and to see my uniform, in a bag hanging on a wall untouched by dust,, but I know that soon, I'll be there and I can't wait...

And of course, my one promise to everyone... Especially with this website...

If I can help, I will and I will always be as approachable and personable as I can be to anyone.

By my own estimation, that means I should fit in with the Norfolkers just perfectly... a great group of people and a great family.

©2003 - Norfolk Militia (Heritage Regiment) Re-Enactment Group - This Website is C/O GHRS - Ontario 100632991